Death.

I feel like death is upon me.
I applied for a college program (again) and I was denied. again.
WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY.
I don't get it. I AM POSITIVE, I AM A GOOD WORKER, I AM HONEST, I DO NOT DO DRUGS, I TAKE PRIDE IN MY WORK, I TRY AND GIVE OUT GOOD ADVICE, I HAVE GOOD WORK ETHICS, I LIKE TO MAKE FRIENDS,

SO WHY DON'T YOU WANT ME????


I just don't understand, this thing I applied for. I LOVE IT MORE THAN ANYONE I KNOW. It makes me so happy, so why can't I have it. I literally feel like my dream was a block of ice and it shattered. I emailed them though.
BEGGING for a second chance, I promised them I am worth it. and I am. I I can inspire others around me. God I hate myself. I want to die. Sleeping pills anyone?
I literally want to die. I had my heart set on it so much. I won't give up yet, I think my email may help. IT BETTER.

omg I am so miserable.
Seeing that email that said applications are up! It was like a kid on Christmas... but seeing that message saying based on my web interview they don't want me????? It was like getting coal and daggers to the heart.

Dear blogger.com, you don't even know how miserable I am.
I tend to try and hide it. you know, put on a happy face. Everyone at the certain company is always happy and it inspires me.
Omg, please God, please let me get this.
I need to get away. Please God Please :'(

You know what, I am a good person. WHY CAN I NEVER GET GOOD KARMA IN RETURN?

Yeah maybe good things come to those who wait.. but haven't I waited long enough? I literally want to die. I don't want to be old, I want to work at THIS COMPANY, I want love, something I'll probably never have.