Quiet time.

Some people may think I live a dull or boring life, but I am happy with it. I like to be different, and I like to be spontaneous. You cannot do the same thing all of the time, it will get dull and boring. I love quiet nights, they make me feel at peace. I worked on my homework tonight, and it felt good. I worked and had school a lot this week, so it is nice to finally sit down and have free time.

Yes I do enjoy going out. I wish people enjoyed the places I wanted to go to, or ideas I have. I like to drink every once in a while. I am who I am, and even if it annoys people, I have learned not to care. I have grown up. I don't hold grudges as much anymore, sometimes the things people say may stay in my head, but why act like a 12 year old and get mad over it. I've learned to breathe, take it in, and ignore it.

Moving on...

I'm finally ready to move. My mom and I have been constantly searching houses somewhere down in south jersey/Delaware. I think I am finally done with the whole North Jersey thing. Lyndhurst will always be my home in my heart, but I need to leave. I need to leave this area. Last week being with my family felt so right, and even stopping in pennsville made me feel so peaceful. I love that peaceful feeling. Sure I'd miss my friends, but lets be real, it would only be about an hour to an hour and a half away. Its not like I would never see them. For a century of my life I have lived here, and I am just ready to move. I guess this whole thing came with growing up. I really hope to move soon, maybe within the next 1 to 3 years. That may seem like a long time, but good judgements take time.

Moving on part II...

I feel kind of lonely, it could just be hormones though. Tonight though, when I was sitting in the TV room doing my homework, I couldn't help but to fantasize in my head. I fantasized that my boyfriend was there sitting with me and laughing. He was helping me do my homework, and just cuddling with me. I want that so much. It may seem dumb, but I want love. Perhaps that is another reason I want to move, apparently North Jersey men had no love for me, so maybe south jersey men will. (I obviously have other reasons for wanting to move though.) Any who, people who are in relationships should know that they are lucky. I do not envy you, I admire you. I hope to be in a happy loving relationship too one day. Sometimes I am more patient than others, but tonight all I wanted was not even a boyfriend, just guy to flirt and laugh with.. that actually likes me :). Someone who wants to cuddle and hug. and sighhhh. I need to stop, I am saddening myself.

There is still so much more on my mind, but I am glad I got most of it out. Sometimes I feel like all of thoughts in my head are bigger than all of the oceans combined.

Gosh I love writing. It is such a beautiful thing, to me anyway.
xoxo.